Psalm 38 – Mercy

They were dumb games really. Whether it was “mercy”, “uncle”, or “bloody knuckles”, they were all fairly worthless. Except, of course, for the building of our pride and establishing the pecking order. Middle School pretty much was an exercise of figuring out who was weak and who was tough. It was a strange land of adolescent tribal sifting.

We’re taught from the beginning that calling for mercy is a sign of weakness. But once again we see the paradox in David’s life, a pattern that is completed through Christ.

“O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger or discipline me in your wrath. For your arrows have pierced me, and your hand has come down upon me.

Because of your wrath there is no health in my body; my bones have no soundness because of my sin. My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.” – Psalm 38:1-4

David calls for mercy and replaces pride with humility in the form of a request, a request that acknowledges God as the one who is capable. I’m reminded today how much we need to “de-program” our brains and remember how much more the ways of God are higher than ours.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9

2 Sam 22 – Life Cycles

Something I’m beginning to surrender to is the reality of the ebb and flow of life. Sounds a little weird to say, but there are certainly rhythms to be found. They seem to cycle. And they have both up beats and down beats.

I think we set ourselves up for failure when we expect every moment to be a high time. We do the same when we assume God has nothing to do with the downs. We learn in this flux. Whether in trial or victory, we are being shaped.

This is especially true in our sin or even our righteousness. In His justice, God deals with us accordingly.

David gives us some insight to this in chapter 22. We know he’s had down times in life. Many were a result to sin. The whole "Bathsheba-gate" thing almost took him under. There were times God seemed absent, yet he still finds a season in life where he has the confidence to write,

“The Lord has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me. For I have kept the ways of the Lord; I have not done evil by turning from my God. All his laws are before me; I have not turned away from his decrees. I have been blameless before him and have kept myself from sin. The Lord has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to my cleanness in his sight.” – 2 Samuel 22:21-25

I don’t know if this is a better reflection of David’s ability to forget what he’s repented for or him just lavishing in a sweet season with the Lord (I would imagine a bit of both), but either way he acknowledges the appropriateness of God and is finding peace in this moment.

What a great lesson to learn.

2 Sam 12 - You're the Man

I can’t read this story without thinking about the Veggie-tale episode where the King is told a story about a guy who had all the “rubber duckies” a man could possible need or want, yet he still stole another man’s most cherished “rubber ducky”. The accusation was made. And when asked who it was, Nathan said to David in verse 7, “You are the man!”

Not quite the same story, not quite the same impact. But I think that is what it’s come to. We become so hardened by our own sin, that we lose perspective on how damaging it is to our walk. Yes, in Christ our sin is forgiven. But left unchecked, damages our relationships because it damages us. It impacts our relationship with God and our ability to worship, hear, and follow Him. It impacts our relationship with others and our ability and willingness to place them in front of our selves. It impacts our actions as determined by our priorities and personal pursuits.

So I guess today, for the first time, I’m reading this story and instead of thinking about how jacked up David became, instead of thinking about the tangled web and taking shots at it from the outside, I turn towards myself. I guess it just builds on yesterday’s reading, but I’m prayerfully seeking were I need to confess and change. Many areas instantly come to mind.

But how do we make that confession and change a reality instead of just a fleeting thought? How do we take it beyond the “I’m sorry I took your rubber ducky”?

This morning I met with the men from our Missional Community Group. We are reading and discussing Tim Keller’s book “The Reason for God”. We landed on the discussion of how we really find and advance through the answers to the questions and the struggles we have (and counsel others with their own questions). One of the guys said, “It all depends on the attitude of your heart, whether or not you really want to find the answer”.

He’s right.

Often we can see all our problems clearly. We can identify and know exactly what our issues are. And as we seek God’s answers… if we REALLY want to know them, we’ll see them. If we really don’t, we probably won’t experience relief from the issues (or even experience insight). Can God show us? Yes. But does He have to? No. Why would He? If we don’t really want to know the answer and/or we aren’t willing to make the change, we may never see it. If God doesn’t withhold the answers and the way, we certainly are experts on withholding it from ourselves… reasoning it away and making excuses.

So a simple question emerges for today: Do we really want to be changed?

God, change our hearts and minds, in spite of our hearts and minds. Today I pray for continued and radical transformation. Give me the desire where I lack the desire, the discipline where I lack discipline, and the wisdom where I lack wisdom. Amen.