Esther 1 – Lesson Learned

Many lessons and reminders are found in the story of Esther. In just the first chapter, we see the theme of pride and excess, the impairing nature of too much wine, the story of consequence, insight to the sovereignty of God shown in how Esther was used to displace the evil plans of Haman… the list goes on and on.

I want to key in on a very small lesson in this chapter that I feel has big impact; King Xerxes had what we might call, “a situation”. Some commentaries suggest he caused it himself by making such an easily disobey-able decree at such a wine altering moment. No matter the circumstance, a dilemma was at hand, and he needed to make a decision regarding Queen Vashti. If he ignored her blatant disobedience, he feared there would be “no end of disrespect and discord” (vs.18).

So what did he do? He sought counsel, as he often did:

“Since it was customary for the king to consult experts in matters of law and justice, he spoke with the wise men who understood the times and were closest to the king—Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena and Memucan, the seven nobles of Persia and Media who had special access to the king and were highest in the kingdom.” – Esther 1:13-14

Seeking counsel is a tricky thing. I think we trick ourselves. Sometimes we seek counsel only from those who we know will tell us what we want to hear. Sometimes we seek counsel, not to get a new answer, but to get people on our side. Most of the time, we don’t seek counsel at all. Instead, we settle in our own minds what we need or want to do and seek affirmation. That’s not counsel, that’s validation. If we look hard enough, we can always find someone who will agree with us.

But not only is seeking counsel necessary, it’s a biblical precedent.

“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.” – Proverbs 27:9

There are a ton of other scriptures I prefer to use when referencing seeking counsel. But this one stands out to me today. Why? I think there is an additional wisdom revealed within this verse: The concept of a friend who is earnest. King Xerxes sought counsel, not only from those who were “wise”, but also those who were “closest” to him (vs.13) This brings light to a list of questions we should ask ourselves when seeking counsel. While this list is not exhaustive, and the answers might not disqualify certain advice, they should certainly be considered in how much weight we give each word of counsel:

1.Does this person really know me?

Many of our accountability relationships are full of people who “think” they know us, but really only know what we’ve told them. So they may not really know us. They may know about us and this relationship might serve a very safe and real purpose in our lives, but for one reason or another (maybe our own pride or insecurity) we have not been fully vulnerable with them. I think a great example of this might be a professional mentor or peer. We might find ourselves being very open about professional issues or even leadership strategies, but that relationship can often be void of personal transparency. Especially when and if we are concerned about protecting our reputation with that person.

2.Does this person really care about and love me?

This is an obvious mandate when speaking of important issues and probably the most natural to identify and trust. These people are not going to just throw out advice from the hip, they are going to seriously consider its impact on your life. They will be just as concerned about giving you bad counsel as they are in giving you good counsel.

3.Does this person seek “God’s best” or “My best”?

Here’s a dangerously difficult question. When we are close to someone and really want them to succeed, we tend to offer advice that would suit them. Godly counsel comes from someone who has the ability to love us, yet would still choose God’s best for us over what they think we might prefer. Even if they thought that advice wouldn’t be received well. I think we know who those people are in our life. Unfortunately, these are the people we often stay away from in certain areas… red flag, yo!

4.Does this person’s life reflect a life that I respect?

I’m not just talking about success. How about the fruit of joy, peace, contentment? How about a strong marriage and a home that at least appears to be in order? Things always seem a little better than they really are. If these are major issues in someone’s life, even if they love you deeply, it should be a spiritual red flag in the realm of advice giving. This doesn’t make this person a bad person, it may just help us see which areas we should seek advice from them in, and which areas we should stay away from.

5.Am I really seeking counsel or validation?

This is a self-examination question. If we’ve already made up our mind, we’re not seeking counsel. We’re politicians. If this is a pattern for us, we may even need to search our hearts in the area of manipulation and insecurity, especially as leaders. We need to make sure we haven’t fooled ourselves into thinking we are seeking counsel when we’re not. Why? As a believer, we are then neglecting biblical wisdom. This is not a good sign that we are going in the right direction.

6.Am I seeking different perspectives?

Many times we hang out and do life with people who are like us. They look like us. They think like us. They’d probably answer most questions like us. We might already know what they’d say before we even ask. This is not good either. We need to intentionally put different personalities in our “inner-circle” of advice giving. This might feel like a bit of therapeutic “Russian Roulette”, but if they are people who really know, love, and care about us, at least we’ll find some honest answers.

This is really hard for us, more so than we probably know. In his book “Taking Advice”, Dan Ciampa exposes the reality that good leaders often fail at advice taking. It doesn’t take much effort to see that’s probably true. This exposes what I think is revealing about King Xerxes: He doesn’t just seek advice with an answer already in his mind, he sought advice, received good counsel, and followed it:

“The king and his nobles were pleased with this advice, so the king did as Memucan proposed.” – Esther 1:21

Father, search our hearts. Help us to consider how we can really encourage each other towards love and good deeds. Help us to see our own agendas in respect to yours. Help us to not only be good advice givers, but to be great at taking advice as well. The hard truth is that this will take a real humility and concern for others. We’ll have to swallow our pride and our agendas. Soften our hearts and put us in that place. Amen.

2 Sam 20 - The Next Admin

"Joab was over Israel's entire army; Benaiah son of Jehoiada was over the Kerethites and Pelethites; Adoniram was in charge of forced labor; Jehoshaphat son of Ahilud was recorder; Sheva was secretary; Zadok and Abiathar were priests; and Ira the Jairite was David's priest." - 1 Samuel 20:23-26

In his own words, a friend of mine said he "chased a rabbit down the trail" last Friday on chapter 20. I'm glad he did. Here's what he wrote:

"I wanted to understand the choices David made in rebuilding his administration. The greatness of David leadership was not built upon him alone; he kept trying to bring together an effective team. Here is what I found:

Benaiah means built up by the Lord was a very courageous and loyal officer of King David and then David's son and successor King Solomon. David put him in charge of the Kerethites and Pelethites who were a bit like a mercenary team made up of quasi-enemies of the state that had become loyal to David. These people were around at several important moments to assist David (Absalom’s revolt, ascension of Solomon…). These people were a Praetorian Guard for David. He later replaced Joab after Solomon had Joab executed and he also killed Adonijah.

Adoniram whose name means: My Lord Is Exalted was a prince, able administrator, and the son of Abda. Adoniram served as overseer of those conscripted for forced labor during the reigns of David, Solomon, and Rehoboam, playing an important part in Solomon's many building projects.

Jehoshaphat son of Ahilud was the historian, the chronicler, and the rememberer. Sheva a secretary or administrator. Zadok and Abiathar were priests - Although Zadok, which means righteous, was of the line of Eleazar, he held the position of High Priest, at first, jointly or alternately, with Abiathar. That changed due to the political choices that were made by the priests themselves; Zadok remained loyal to David and Solomon, while Abiathar supported Solomon's rival.

Ira the Jairite now becomes the personal counselor to the king, a position previously held by the sons of David, but that did not work out so well. He is the king's chaplain. Joab – now leads the entire army.

David now has someone in position to counterbalance the power that Joab has amassed; he has someone in charge of labor, administration, and record keeping and ministering to the people. Finally he also has a confidant. As David matures, he realizes he cannot do it all alone and he is being more judicious in his selection of people (as opposed to picking Amasa to lead the army)."

Sounds like a great "Board of Directors".

It's interesting how a fear of failure (or failing again) manifests itself in two different ways (1) wanting to do it right no matter what, which humbles us and makes us desire to put the right people around us and letting go or (2) wanting to do it right, wo we lock down and try to control everything. Maybe the difference is in seeing how the initial failure was ultimately ours and about our inabilities or choices and not others. It all starts from the top, and as they say... it all rolls downhill from there.

The greatness of David leadership was not built upon him alone, it's interesting however, that the failures of leadership are most always from doing things alone.

2 Sam 18 - Timing is Everything

There is a time for everything. Although we may have a desire to be a part of every adventure, we may feel a responsibility to always lead from the front, a need to personally invest in every battle with those who are going through adversity, or a desire to “fix” everything we see out of line… we simply cannot do everything ourselves. And it's not always best if we're the one's to do it.

There is a time for everything.

“But the men said, "You must not go out; if we are forced to flee, they won't care about us. Even if half of us die, they won't care; but you are worth ten thousand of us. It would be better now for you to give us support from the city."

The king answered, "I will do whatever seems best to you." 
- 2 Samuel 18:3-4

This is in stark contrast to the problem with David in 2 Samuel 11. Then, David stayed back when he should have gone. He was neglecting his role in leadership. And we know the landslide that followed that act of negligence.

“In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.” – 2 Samuel 11:1

In chapter 18, it is best for David to stay back. This time, to go, would be neglecting his role in leadership. There is a time for everything. How do we know when it’s time? I think the answer (or part of it) may lie in David’s response in verse 4. He says, “I will do whatever seems best to you.”

This not only reflects a willingness to do what’s best for others, but also comes with a certain level of humility and a posture willing to receive counsel. This seems to be a pattern with David at this phase in his journey. Maybe that is the exact attitude we need to have in order to know God’s timing and to trust that it really doesn’t all depend on us, or our abilities.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.” –Ecclesiastes 3:1-14

2 Sam 17 - Receiving Counsel

Who do you allow to speak into your life? Why? What is it that they bring to the table? Who’s interest do they have in mind? Do you listen because of what they’ve accomplished or because you see them as a man or woman who has evidences of the Spirit in their daily life? Since much of faith is a paradox, is their advice in line with that reality or does it often “go with the flow” of what works?

As a Christian leader, these are the questions that are flooding my mind. In choosing those whom we seek advice, here are some additional questions to help us filter through personal agendas (ours and theirs):

1. Do we think more highly of their accomplishments than their sensitivity to the Spirit?

2. Do we find ourselves wanting to be around them or be like them in a prideful way?

3. Do they invest without us initiating or are we constantly chasing their advice?

4. Do they offer more answers than they ask questions?

5. Do they make us a better leader or a better believer?

It’s interesting to me that the ones who were sought out for counsel in biblical times were always men set aside and called out by God. They were either prophets or priests. Rarely were they the guys who had the ultimate positional authority or who had climbed the ladder of success themselves. Instead they were those who simply dedicated all of who they were to the Lord.

We typically only allow the successful to speak into our lives, those with the greatest track record, those with the most books published, or those with the most money in the bank. While experience should certainly be a part of the counsel equation, we know that God measures success differently than we naturally do. Since it’s so hard for us to seek counsel based on those differences, we have to be intentional about seeking it in those forms.

In the prior chapter (ch.16), we see clearly why Athithophel was a great counselor to both David and Absalom. He gave great counsel because he inquired of God.

"Now in those days the advice Ahithophel gave was like that of one who inquires of God. That was how both David and Absalom regarded all of Ahithophel's advice.” – 2 Samuel 16:23

Yet after Absalom inquired of him in the beginning of chapter 17, he sought the advice of another.

“Hushai replied to Absalom, "The advice Ahithophel has given is not good this time.” – 2 Samuel 17:7

It’s interesting to me how quickly Absalom (and his men) discredited the advice of Ahithophel and followed Hushai. Verse 14 let’s us know why… God was up to something.

“Absalom and all the men of Israel said, "The advice of Hushai the Arkite is better than that of Ahithophel." For the LORD had determined to frustrate the good advice of Ahithophel in order to bring disaster on Absalom.” – 2 Samuel 17:14

Did they hear what they wanted to hear?

God knows our hearts and minds. He knows our fears and inner most thoughts, He knew that Hushai throwing a wrench into his counsel would “Frustrate” Absalom’s leadership. The question is, since Athithophel had such a strong reputation with both Absalom and David, why did Absalom feel he needed to get advice from Hushai? I think its possible Absalom was looking for a way out. Apparently, so were the rest of the men of Israel. Maybe this was a classic case of leadership and “self-deception”, maybe he didn’t hear the answer he wanted to hear, so he kept asking, and he asked someone else.

Our hearts and minds are tricky. We can always find someone to tell us what we want to hear. As leaders, we have to take a strong look at our selves and those we allow to speak into our lives. While we must use wisdom in choosing them based on their own character and experiences, we should also be sure we don’t simply surround ourselves with those who already act like us, think like us, do things the way we do them, and have anything to gain or protect from the advice they give except a desire to see God’s will in our lives. Many of us need to “expand” our circle. We need to increase our exposure. We have to ask ourselves and allow others to ask us tough questions we might not normally ask ourselves (and be ready to hear the answers). That’s a tough thing to do, but in the end, everyone will benefit.

Oh, and when you find yourself asking counsel from someone new, ask yourself “why”. That’s a red flag. Why are my typical counselors not good enough in this situation? Do I not want to hear what I know they’ll say? Why am I seeking this new person out? Do I know they will tell me what I want to hear? Or can I trust they will tell me the truth? The warning signs are everywhere.

Being honest with our selves is the hardest part.