2 Sam 17 - Receiving Counsel

Who do you allow to speak into your life? Why? What is it that they bring to the table? Who’s interest do they have in mind? Do you listen because of what they’ve accomplished or because you see them as a man or woman who has evidences of the Spirit in their daily life? Since much of faith is a paradox, is their advice in line with that reality or does it often “go with the flow” of what works?

As a Christian leader, these are the questions that are flooding my mind. In choosing those whom we seek advice, here are some additional questions to help us filter through personal agendas (ours and theirs):

1. Do we think more highly of their accomplishments than their sensitivity to the Spirit?

2. Do we find ourselves wanting to be around them or be like them in a prideful way?

3. Do they invest without us initiating or are we constantly chasing their advice?

4. Do they offer more answers than they ask questions?

5. Do they make us a better leader or a better believer?

It’s interesting to me that the ones who were sought out for counsel in biblical times were always men set aside and called out by God. They were either prophets or priests. Rarely were they the guys who had the ultimate positional authority or who had climbed the ladder of success themselves. Instead they were those who simply dedicated all of who they were to the Lord.

We typically only allow the successful to speak into our lives, those with the greatest track record, those with the most books published, or those with the most money in the bank. While experience should certainly be a part of the counsel equation, we know that God measures success differently than we naturally do. Since it’s so hard for us to seek counsel based on those differences, we have to be intentional about seeking it in those forms.

In the prior chapter (ch.16), we see clearly why Athithophel was a great counselor to both David and Absalom. He gave great counsel because he inquired of God.

"Now in those days the advice Ahithophel gave was like that of one who inquires of God. That was how both David and Absalom regarded all of Ahithophel's advice.” – 2 Samuel 16:23

Yet after Absalom inquired of him in the beginning of chapter 17, he sought the advice of another.

“Hushai replied to Absalom, "The advice Ahithophel has given is not good this time.” – 2 Samuel 17:7

It’s interesting to me how quickly Absalom (and his men) discredited the advice of Ahithophel and followed Hushai. Verse 14 let’s us know why… God was up to something.

“Absalom and all the men of Israel said, "The advice of Hushai the Arkite is better than that of Ahithophel." For the LORD had determined to frustrate the good advice of Ahithophel in order to bring disaster on Absalom.” – 2 Samuel 17:14

Did they hear what they wanted to hear?

God knows our hearts and minds. He knows our fears and inner most thoughts, He knew that Hushai throwing a wrench into his counsel would “Frustrate” Absalom’s leadership. The question is, since Athithophel had such a strong reputation with both Absalom and David, why did Absalom feel he needed to get advice from Hushai? I think its possible Absalom was looking for a way out. Apparently, so were the rest of the men of Israel. Maybe this was a classic case of leadership and “self-deception”, maybe he didn’t hear the answer he wanted to hear, so he kept asking, and he asked someone else.

Our hearts and minds are tricky. We can always find someone to tell us what we want to hear. As leaders, we have to take a strong look at our selves and those we allow to speak into our lives. While we must use wisdom in choosing them based on their own character and experiences, we should also be sure we don’t simply surround ourselves with those who already act like us, think like us, do things the way we do them, and have anything to gain or protect from the advice they give except a desire to see God’s will in our lives. Many of us need to “expand” our circle. We need to increase our exposure. We have to ask ourselves and allow others to ask us tough questions we might not normally ask ourselves (and be ready to hear the answers). That’s a tough thing to do, but in the end, everyone will benefit.

Oh, and when you find yourself asking counsel from someone new, ask yourself “why”. That’s a red flag. Why are my typical counselors not good enough in this situation? Do I not want to hear what I know they’ll say? Why am I seeking this new person out? Do I know they will tell me what I want to hear? Or can I trust they will tell me the truth? The warning signs are everywhere.

Being honest with our selves is the hardest part.