2 Sam 19 - Sin Matrix

You’d almost have to have a degree in psychology to fully understand what’s going on in chapter 19. You’d certainly have to know the story well as to how David and his men found themselves in this situation. Needless to say, Absalom was now dead, and while David knew it had to happen it was completely wrecking him emotionally. And it was killing him as a leader.

“Joab was told, "The king is weeping and mourning for Absalom." And for the whole army the victory that day was turned into mourning, because on that day the troops heard it said, "The king is grieving for his son." The men stole into the city that day as men steal in who are ashamed when they flee from battle. The king covered his face and cried aloud, "O my son Absalom! O Absalom, my son, my son!"” – 2 Samuel 19:1-3

These men cared so deeply for their King that although they were simply obeying orders in going to war, they could not consider it victory. Scripture says that they were like those who were ashamed.

I’m trying to understand David’s grief. The guilt must have been immense. What an awfully tangled mess he created in his sin. David and all those close to him were suffering the consequences. Because of his personal sin he had to flee and drag all his men and their families with him out of Israel. Because of his personal sin his very own son was pursuing him and wanted to kill him. Because of his personal sin thousands died at war including his son. And because of his personal sin he could not publicly grieve for his dead son or he would lose the only things he had left.

David was grieving much more than just the death of a loved one. He knew this whole journey was his fault, and he was frozen as a leader. Good thing Joab stepped in.

“Then Joab went into the house to the king and said, "Today you have humiliated all your men, who have just saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters and the lives of your wives and concubines. You love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that the commanders and their men mean nothing to you. I see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead. Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the LORD that if you don't go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall. This will be worse for you than all the calamities that have come upon you from your youth till now." 2 Samuel 19:5-7

Most of us have something that consumes and ultimately distracts us. We should take a moment to consider what it is personally or emotionally that is keeping us from what we need to be doing (and HOW we should be doing it). What sin or shortfall, what inadequacy or insecurity, what concern or fear, what wound or tragedy do we have that impacts how we are living, how we are leading, and how we love God and others. I think that is a good question to ask.

Most of us don’t have the ability to just decide not to care about something, especially something big. We can’t undo our reality. But what we can do is pray and move forward. And there is a big difference between moving forward and moving on (the what v.s. how). We can choose to do what we know we should do. Do what is right even before we want to. Do what is noble even when we don’t feel we have the strength. Do what is needed even if we still wonder if the sacrifice is worth it. If we wait until conditions are perfect, we may never move. If we wait until we want to, we may never want to. All we really need to know is what we should do. Action in doing what is right is a great healer. It’s when we stay frozen in our emotion that we continue to spiral downward. And bring others with us.

Action in itself can be a form of worship. When we step out of neutral, for the sake of the King, we are laying ourselves at the feet of the King. We are giving a tangible offering of our selves, and our emotions, and replacing them with trust in doing what is right in His eyes.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into PRACTICE. And the God of PEACE will be with you.” – Philippians 4:8-9