2 Sam 15 - Identity & Loyalty

Two different topics from this chapter were drilled into today by a couple of my friends. Both whom are smarter than I am. The moment their words hit my inbox I knew I would share them on my blog. The first is on the topic of identity, the second is on loyalty. Here they are:

"But David continued up the Mount of Olives, weeping as he went; his head was covered and he was barefoot." (2 Sam 15:30)

“Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. All men will hate you because of me, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved.” (Mark 13:12)

1000 years before Jesus describes the signs of the end times while speaking from the Mount of Olives (The Olivet Discourse), David finds himself fleeing to the Mount of Olives to avoid a costly and destructive battle with his son. Does David believe he is seeing the beginning of the end?

I think not. He left 10 of his concubines in the city to mind the palace (what’s up with the 10 concubines?) and made some shrewd decisions about placing trusted advisors around Absalom to keep an eye on him. I think David was truly giving this over to God and was more concerned about not destroying the city or splitting the kingdom, rather than preserving his pride and dignity as king. David saw his most important role as a child of God, a steward of the nation, not the king. This drove his decision on how to respond to Absalom’s threat.

What element of our lives do we hold most tightly to? I would say it is probably our identity. Who we believe we are, or want others to believe we are, is something we fight for (“what did you call me?”), it’s something we work for (“I was just promoted, now I am assistant to the traveling secretary”), and it is something that heavily influences what we think we can become (“You’ll never be any good at this…”).

Our personal identity is so powerful, so controlling, it is the primary thing we must surrender to Christ. Yielding our bank accounts, our time, our service are all good things to release to him. But, an intimate relationship with Him is predicated on surrendering our identity. We can’t accept the power He pours into our lives until we realize who we are in Him. Until we accept and embrace our position as sons of God, we will never be able to live with the freedom and confidence and peace he has promised. As long as we let our identities be determined by what we have and what we do, rather than who we are, we will struggle with pride, struggle with trying to “earn” our position, and miss out on the peace Christ offers. “What we have” and “What we do” are things that can be taken from us via theft, carelessness, job losses, or retirement. “Who we are” is something no one can take from us, unless we give it to them. When we surrender “who we are” to Christ, He replaces our limited concept and beliefs with an eternal identity as a child of God. Something that can never be destroyed or taken away. So, the tough question I have to ask myself today is, “Who am I?” If I asked my wife, my daughter, my friends, or colleagues the same question, what would they say? When other people see me, what is my identity to them? Is my life and my actions focused on being who they want or expect me to be, or who Christ wants me to be?

The second is on loyalty:

V21 But Ittai replied to the king, "As surely as the Lord lives, and as my lord the king lives, wherever my lord the king may be, whether it means life or death, there will your servant be."

The power of a friend. The power of one person who believes in you. The power you have when you tell a person you genuinely believe in them – more than tell them, when you show them. Ittai’s loyalty was a gift to David. Ittai was new in a relationship with David, yet he publicly chose to support him, he did it when David was dejected and he did it full well knowing that his fate was now tied to David.

Mark 2:3-5 Some men came, bringing to him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."

Who are you tearing the roof open for today? Who are you publicly choosing when no one else supports them? Who are you connecting your fate to and by doing that showing personal commitment? God never leaves our side and that fact allows us to walk with confidence. Add the loyalty of one person during dark moments, one person who believes and believes publicly and the soul is regenerated. Faith + the loyalty of at least one person can recharge the spirit.

Loyalty is a godly trait – be judicious with it, but have it in you and you will bring God to someone when they most need Him. Four of the most powerful words we have in us are "I believe in you".

Loyalty is typically something we want from others, who wouldn't? Often, when there is failure, it's because we fail to offer it. This is a dangerous place for leaders and/or those in a position of authority. It's easy to fail to offer loyalty with those we consider subordinates even when we feel it. There's a difference between feeling it and offering it. I love the connection with the Mark 2 story because the fruit of loyalty was offered, not just received. It wasn't just an idea on paper with a promise, it was action that went beyond.

2 Sam 14 - Wise Communication

Gary Chapman has made a killing with his book, “The Five Love Languages”. Not just because it comes with an inherent marketing genius, but also because it’s claims are true. Speaking how you want to speak does not ensure clear communication, identifying and speaking the way others need to be spoken too does. We must learn to speak the language of our hearers.

This is exactly what Joab did in finding a mediator for Absalom. He found a woman of wisdom, and she spoke the language of David.

“So Joab sent someone to Tekoa and had a wise woman brought from there. He said to her, "Pretend you are in mourning. Dress in mourning clothes, and don't use any cosmetic lotions. Act like a woman who has spent many days grieving for the dead. Then go to the king and speak these words to him." And Joab put the words in her mouth.” 2 Samuel 14:2-3

At first it seems manipulative… and there was much risk… but the heart and intention was so pure, it ruled out. Ultimately, it was the right thing to do.

I can’t help but think about the church today. For years we have spoken our own language and expected outsiders to just “get it”, or else. Act a certain way, dress a certain way, even talk a certain way, “oh, brother, great to see you… oh yes, amen brother… doth things goeth well with you?”

Isn’t it funny how we are tempted to instantly pretend we're someone else the moment we hit the doors of a church building or get in the presence of someone who we know is more “Spiritual” than us? The R.E.M. song "Shiny Happy People" always comes to mind. We feel the pressure to act like we've got it all together, no problems or concerns. If it impacts and changes how we act, just imagine how odd and uncomfortable that feels to a non-believer seeking truth. No wonder the greatest accusation of a skeptic of faith is hypocrisy and/or a lack of authenticity.

We have to learn to speak the language of our hearers. And be brave enough to be ourselves. Jesus did that intuitively. It’s not a language of compromise. Therefore we have to discern the line of compromise. It’s not a language of law and behaving, it’s a language of love and belonging. It’s the heart of contextualizing the Gospel. Missionaries have been doing it overseas for years. It’s biblical and effective. We should do it here too.

2 Sam 13 - Moral Influence

There were many signs that David was beginning to lose his moral authority and influence in the past few chapters. It’s recognized in the actions of his military subordinates in the prior chapter, and now in chapter 13 we see the fruit of it infesting his own children. And it’s simply awful.

“When King David heard all this, he was furious. Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.” 2 Samuel 13:21-22

David knew of all that was going on, and he did nothing except get angry. In fact, we have no record of what happened for the next two years.

We underestimate the power of moral authority. It impacts everyone around us that we lead, are responsible for, or care about (and many that we may not). How others perceive us goes far beyond what we think of ourselves. What is gained over years can simply be lost in a moment of neglect, selfishness, or poor choices.

If we remember, the same thing happened to Samuel himself in 1 Samuel 8. I went back to read my journal from that day. It was on Moral Authority… Here’s a part of that entry:

“Simply put…” said Andy Stanley, “…moral authority is maintained when your creed matches your deed”. Individually this is both simple and profound but also true. Culturally and corporately it is as well.

Moral authority has everything to do with how people view whether or not we do what we say is important to us. Because if we don’t, we lose respect (credibility), and when we lose respect, we lose our ability to influence (lead).

As a church leader, this is an important thing to understand. Andy exposed the fact that we do not have an official authority over anyone. We may think we do, and many times we operate as if we do, but we really don’t. If we lose the respect of our members, they just leave. If we lose the respect of our staff, they can do the same. They may last for a while, but eventually we lose our influence and ability to lead them.

Most unchurched or de-churched people aren’t reading our church purpose statements, values, and doctrinal statements to see how we’re different one from another (Other Christians who treat the church like a buffet line at Luby’s do, but not the unchurched). They somehow just know that Christians are supposed to love others and not judge others. To them, that’s our true “creed”, it’s ironic that our reputation in the secular world is the exact opposite. Ed Stetzer wrote recently in “Lost and Found” that a massive majority of unchurched and de-churched claim hypocrisy and judgment as their number #1 and #2 reason they stay away from the church. That’s a problem. We’ve lost our moral authority in the eyes of many. To them, we’ve lost their respect. The result, we’ve lost our influence with many. Our cultural reality is that this is how the “church” sits with the majority of the unchurched in America.

Today I'm reading in 1 Samuel 8. In it we clearly see that the sons of Samuel had lost the respect of the people as well as their moral authority. Inevitability their moral influence was compromised. Their deed did not match their creed. Verse 3 says, “…his (Samuel’s) sons did not walk in his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice.”

They had lost their Influence… their credibility… and their power. And so the people called out for a different kind of leader. They called out for a King.

But in our nature to make everything about us, let’s not lose our perspective. God reminds us that this condition is not fully conditional. This loss of influence was directly impacted by the degrees of separation of the nation of Israel from their God. Not just the lack of influence of Samuel’s sons. They were already one click away from falling… and the loss of the Judge’s moral authority was the tipping point. This is evidenced through verses 7-8, “And the LORD told him: "Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king. As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you.”

Israel was big, and as they say, “the bigger they are the harder they fall”. Even a small ripple can have a massive impact. As Leonard Sweet put it, “Big trees fall over in a storm; the little and mid-sized trees are best equipped to stand and sway in the storm”

I don’t think they knew why they felt they were in a vulnerable position, they just knew that the leader and process they had, they no longer had confidence in.

We are in a similar position in the American church today and most certainly in our post-modern culture. Our personal gods are numerous. Money, position, pride, success, the list goes on and on. And moral authority is often questioned. I would venture to say most feel we are one “click” away as well. And in these moments of felt crisis and uncertainty, the world needs to see the church rise in their influence. We don’t rise by our words and creeds alone, we rise through God’s truth and our actions… it’s HIS creed and our deed.

When we think about making an impact on the unchurched world, we should shape our efforts from this posture. That's our hope at Austin New Church. That it would shape our starting point. When we don’t, we’ll see that our target is really other believers or the churched, not the lost, unchurched, or dechurched. When we look at those who are skeptics of faith, we should acknowledge their true starting point and meet them there. That’s what Jesus did. He went to Samaria. He went to the Sheep Gate Pool. He went to the temple to address the Pharisee’s. He went to the wedding party. He went to the Tax Collectors house. And His creed matched His deed.

2 Sam 12 - You're the Man

I can’t read this story without thinking about the Veggie-tale episode where the King is told a story about a guy who had all the “rubber duckies” a man could possible need or want, yet he still stole another man’s most cherished “rubber ducky”. The accusation was made. And when asked who it was, Nathan said to David in verse 7, “You are the man!”

Not quite the same story, not quite the same impact. But I think that is what it’s come to. We become so hardened by our own sin, that we lose perspective on how damaging it is to our walk. Yes, in Christ our sin is forgiven. But left unchecked, damages our relationships because it damages us. It impacts our relationship with God and our ability to worship, hear, and follow Him. It impacts our relationship with others and our ability and willingness to place them in front of our selves. It impacts our actions as determined by our priorities and personal pursuits.

So I guess today, for the first time, I’m reading this story and instead of thinking about how jacked up David became, instead of thinking about the tangled web and taking shots at it from the outside, I turn towards myself. I guess it just builds on yesterday’s reading, but I’m prayerfully seeking were I need to confess and change. Many areas instantly come to mind.

But how do we make that confession and change a reality instead of just a fleeting thought? How do we take it beyond the “I’m sorry I took your rubber ducky”?

This morning I met with the men from our Missional Community Group. We are reading and discussing Tim Keller’s book “The Reason for God”. We landed on the discussion of how we really find and advance through the answers to the questions and the struggles we have (and counsel others with their own questions). One of the guys said, “It all depends on the attitude of your heart, whether or not you really want to find the answer”.

He’s right.

Often we can see all our problems clearly. We can identify and know exactly what our issues are. And as we seek God’s answers… if we REALLY want to know them, we’ll see them. If we really don’t, we probably won’t experience relief from the issues (or even experience insight). Can God show us? Yes. But does He have to? No. Why would He? If we don’t really want to know the answer and/or we aren’t willing to make the change, we may never see it. If God doesn’t withhold the answers and the way, we certainly are experts on withholding it from ourselves… reasoning it away and making excuses.

So a simple question emerges for today: Do we really want to be changed?

God, change our hearts and minds, in spite of our hearts and minds. Today I pray for continued and radical transformation. Give me the desire where I lack the desire, the discipline where I lack discipline, and the wisdom where I lack wisdom. Amen.

2 Sam 11 - Turning Points

Here's a lesson in human nature and leadership. Just as we can learn from any moment in history, we can certainly all learn from David’s poor choices in chapter 11. David was a man typically on task, he always seemed to consider where and what he should be doing in light of God’s desire, until now.

“In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem. One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her.” – Samuel 11:1-3

This crossroad sprung up primarily because of one act of sloth: Idleness. Scripture clearly states that it was a season when Kings, which he was, went to war. But not David. For whatever reason, he stayed. David was not doing what he should be doing. Neglecting his responsibility, his oath, his calling.

David was a warrior. With that in mind, I can imagine a bored King. Walking around on the roof, probably thinking about the war, thinking about his life, then boom… there’s Bathsheba. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. And he did the wrong thing. It’s a downward spiral that could have been avoided. David had multiple opportunities to “do the right thing”. But each step of the way, he kept pressing into what was wrong. I wonder if it had something to do with the fact that most of his advisors (let’s call them accountability partners) were at war.

Scripture says he told “Someone” to go get her. Later it describes him as the “man” he told. No name, no relationship, just another guy… so when he spoke truth to David, he blew him off.

So lesson #2, don’t disconnect from those who speak truth to you. Keep them close. And listen. I bet you if it was Jonathan who spoke those words of warning, David would have stopped. He probably would have never called for her, or even mentioned it to him. But that wasn’t the case. David was alone. He was idle. He chose poorly. And the result? Verse 27 let’s us know:

“But the thing David had done displeased the LORD.”

So the questions are: Where should we be that we're not? Where are we that we shouldn’t be? What are we doing that we shouldn’t be doing? What is our pursuit that is not God’s pursuit? What steals our affections from the things that are God’s? And the big one: What warnings are we neglecting as we inch closer to the cliff?

Father, none of us are beyond falling. Your word is clear on that. We deceive ourselves. We chase our selfish desires. We justify our actions. Each of those things are about US and not YOU. Keep our focus on Your Kingdom. Keep our relationships authentic, raw, vulnerable, accountable and responsive. And deliver us from evil… even our own evil. Amen.