I almost threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Did he mean it? Probably. But as I sat there I just thought, man, no wonder people feel like outsiders. No wonder people who are new to the church feel a disconnect, feel intimidated, confused, almost scared by what they see and hear.
But I need to get over it.
“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God"
“These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go with the multitude, leading the procession to the house of God, with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.”
“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and 6 my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.” – Psalm 42:1-5
Today I’ve rediscovered chapter 42. This is deep waters. It's about a returning. It’s an expression of a man desperately hungry to experience the hand of His God. If we would remember the great things of God, we’d be this hungry too. While the sad thing is that he feels so far away from God, the good thing is that he knows it. And he wants it back.
"I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart." - Jeremiah 24:7
Father, I've always thought that the most miserable place for a Christian to be is out of your will. Today I see that for the gift that it really is. Draw us back when we are far. Make us thirsty. Amen
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Charles Spurgeon wrote: “There is something to be lamented in this state of mind, for if the Psalmist had maintained unbroken communion with his God, he would not have been so much panting after Him as enjoying Him. It is deeply to be deplored that we, who sometimes bask in the sunshine of God’s Countenance, cannot live so as always to enjoy it. Why do we wander? Why do we grieve His Holy Spirit? Why do we turn aside from God, our exceeding joy? Why do we provoke Him to jealousy and cause Him to make us grope in darkness, and sigh out of a lonely and desolate heart? There is much of an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God.”
ReplyDeleteI keep coming back to the "dark night" thought. It is a God thing how all of this is coming out of your mind at this time. This is how I have felt for a long time now, since the start of 2009. I have not been able to hit a consistent time with God really. It seems for some reason, I am not to the panting place. I know what I should do. I know all the "churchy" answers. It is a circle. The more time we spend with God the more time we want to spend with God. The more we want to spend time with God the more time we do spend time with God. We just have to take the first step. - Michael
ReplyDeletePrayed for you today Michael. Blessings. BH
ReplyDelete