2 Sam 12 - You're the Man

I can’t read this story without thinking about the Veggie-tale episode where the King is told a story about a guy who had all the “rubber duckies” a man could possible need or want, yet he still stole another man’s most cherished “rubber ducky”. The accusation was made. And when asked who it was, Nathan said to David in verse 7, “You are the man!”

Not quite the same story, not quite the same impact. But I think that is what it’s come to. We become so hardened by our own sin, that we lose perspective on how damaging it is to our walk. Yes, in Christ our sin is forgiven. But left unchecked, damages our relationships because it damages us. It impacts our relationship with God and our ability to worship, hear, and follow Him. It impacts our relationship with others and our ability and willingness to place them in front of our selves. It impacts our actions as determined by our priorities and personal pursuits.

So I guess today, for the first time, I’m reading this story and instead of thinking about how jacked up David became, instead of thinking about the tangled web and taking shots at it from the outside, I turn towards myself. I guess it just builds on yesterday’s reading, but I’m prayerfully seeking were I need to confess and change. Many areas instantly come to mind.

But how do we make that confession and change a reality instead of just a fleeting thought? How do we take it beyond the “I’m sorry I took your rubber ducky”?

This morning I met with the men from our Missional Community Group. We are reading and discussing Tim Keller’s book “The Reason for God”. We landed on the discussion of how we really find and advance through the answers to the questions and the struggles we have (and counsel others with their own questions). One of the guys said, “It all depends on the attitude of your heart, whether or not you really want to find the answer”.

He’s right.

Often we can see all our problems clearly. We can identify and know exactly what our issues are. And as we seek God’s answers… if we REALLY want to know them, we’ll see them. If we really don’t, we probably won’t experience relief from the issues (or even experience insight). Can God show us? Yes. But does He have to? No. Why would He? If we don’t really want to know the answer and/or we aren’t willing to make the change, we may never see it. If God doesn’t withhold the answers and the way, we certainly are experts on withholding it from ourselves… reasoning it away and making excuses.

So a simple question emerges for today: Do we really want to be changed?

God, change our hearts and minds, in spite of our hearts and minds. Today I pray for continued and radical transformation. Give me the desire where I lack the desire, the discipline where I lack discipline, and the wisdom where I lack wisdom. Amen.

2 Sam 1 - Warrior Culture

After hearing of Saul and Jonathan’s death, David took up a lament and ordered that the men of Judah be taught the lament as well. Here is a significant part of it: “I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women.” – 2 Samuel 1:26

David was real. He was authentic and vulnerable (in a good way). So much so that because of his words, some argue David and Jonathan had a homosexual relationship. I think that’s a pretty big stretch and unfounded, but one thing for sure is that they had a special relationship.

What I see is two men who have fought through Hell together. They have the bond of Warrior Culture. It is something that cannot be explained. But it is irreplaceable and cannot be substituted for. It is only experienced in the purest form of a journey together.

The gift of Christ is to be given the right to be called a child of God. With it come many benefits. One is a brotherhood and community that many of us never allow ourselves to fully experience.

I’m struck today by the curtains that exist in our lives. We are so full of insecurity, skepticism, and fear that we fail to be vulnerable with one another and thus lack authenticity in many of our relationships. When this happens, biblical community is hurt. It falls short. With vulnerability comes the fullness that Christ hopes for in His church.

I’ve always felt the Church works best in crisis. When we have to work and fight together. See any moment along the way which reflects crisis, and you will see people working together in ways they never have before. Whether it’s in sharing pain through the death of a loved one, rallying together to help strangers during a hurricane, or going to battle against an enemy probably greater than any of us individually… we see the church rising. It’s in our moments of selfishness and greed that we settle into complacency and lose our passion for one another. I’m starting to see clearly how much it’s really not about the task we accomplish and more about the journey of how we attack it together.

If we saw the battle ground around us, if we recognized the crisis, we would understand that we are in a Warrior Culture as well. We would see and experience the fullness of relationship and community. We would be more vulnerable with one another and we would value honesty above most other things. We would cherish each other and would trust one another. Corporately our concern would grow, our hearts would soften, and our lives would be transformed.

When I think about the church, I bet that was the original plan.

Heart Transformed

The trajectory of my life has been changed because of Jesus. It’s hard to tell exactly how changed since I came to faith at the age of six. (I really can’t remember how year five was for me) But I know the trajectory was adjusted. However for years, even in my adulthood the journey had seemed slow, laborious, and at times painful. Although I took part in bible study after bible study, there were seasons that were filled with as much confusion as clarity. I’ve learned that that is a part of the journey (among other variables). But one thing that has always held me hostage was the foreign concept of a truly and fully “transformed heart”. There were seasons when I felt like I never quite had one. That’s a tough confession.

In my reading of 1 Samuel 10 this morning, it tells the story of the anointing and proclamation of Saul as King by Samuel. God gave some amazing evidences of his hand and favor to Saul in this chapter, but the verse that stood out to me was verse 6 that says, “The Spirit of the LORD will come upon you in power… and you will be changed into a different person.” And I realized I had a fresh understanding of life change.

I’m a different person than I was a few years ago. I don't think I was a bad person. And I’m not saying that now I feel that I’ve "arrived" or feel at all worthy or close to anything near perfect (Geeze no!). But what I do feel is transformed, for the first time and completely. My heart has changed. My pursuits and passions have changed. And I want to live externally of myself. I want to live for others. I’m still learning how to do that, and how to lead others to do the same, but I’m committed to being a part of the answer… even if I gain nothing in return. I don’t know how it really happened other than the Spirit’s prompting. But what I do know is that it started with a homeless guy… and the idea of a free cheeseburger.

Maybe the reason Jesus told us to feed the hungry was because He knew that we would be the one’s who would become full. His ways are certainly higher than ours.